::The Blessed Hellride::
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Monday, February 02, 2009

Hey...

All i can say is,my mood just suddenly dropped...Sigh...
I got to know from someone that my mum might lose her custody over me and my little brother...It's because of her friend who went missing and didn't pay up for her bike installments.

My mum was her friend's gurantor and her friend went missing after a few months...Now as a gurantor,she needs to pay the bike company 10k...
If not,they'll pull her van,bike away,and even us...

I don't know why,but all i got to know is that if it happens,she can lose her custody over us...And i don't want that to happen...

It's not that i don't love my dad...But he's not the fatherly sort...All he care is work,money and woman...Seriously...
I thought of not taking the $250 each month my dad give me,maybe just about $100 and the rest give to my mum...
Last week,the fridge was almost bare...

$1.8k a month is her salary...Where can i find money to pay for that 10k

I'm not even 19 yet,and to reach a legal age is 21,by then and only then i can take the right to be the guardian for my little brother even if my mother loses her custody over us...

Mum is also suffering in silence...
Yes i know she has an illness,it's just that i don't want my little brother to know...
If he got to know,he would be sad 24/7...

A few years back,mum suffered from a major panic attack,and my little brother was already crying even though the panic attack wasn't fatal,so i guess you guys would know his character abit.

Being the eldest in the family suck at times...
You need to juggle your responsibility not only towards your life and school,but your family too...Especially in a broken up family...
Sigh...
If my mum really loses her custody over us,i think i need to quit school and start working to pay off her debts...Oh God...Please don't leave me in my time of need...

And to whoever it may concern...
I don't hate you,nor i want to stray away from you...
But i've found someone new,and i guess you should too...
It's been too hurtful waiting for you...
The sleepless nights...
And endless tears wept...

But i can still be there for you...
As a close friend...
Cause if you really know me...
I'm as loyal as can be...
You will find someone better than me one day...
One day...Remember,your name is still in my prayers...

And to that someone new...
I know you've been reading my blog from your workplace...
Stop that smiling,yea i know you're smiling...
Please don't judge me that quick...
And have some faith in me...

If you understand me and my work...
You know that i have loads of friends...
And i need to socialise a lot...
I've seen you sitting at the other end while here i am headbanging and talking...
And yes,i've listed you 3 names of the girls that i'm really close too...
(And one of the name is yours too)


I admit i can't make the whole world happy...
But i can achieve it by taking small steps...
And to my past...
It doesn't mean that our story didn't have a happy ending meant it wasn't happy at all...
Even with the tears and heartache...
It was a joyous and lovely path to walk by...
And lessons i've learnt to keep my head up...



To those whom i love and care much for...Yes those people who influence my life and whom i've influence too...I don't want any monetary aid,all i want is understanding and support...

For those close to my family and whom my mum is close with,just give us all the strength we need to overcome this problem...





Bled For Mankind 1:45 AM | Comment

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Azalea Rosewood

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Irizah Azalea

Nick:Maan Rosewood
D.O.B:26-09-90
Vocalist & Ex-Guitar Player
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