::The Blessed Hellride::
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Saturday, February 28, 2009

Today had Rusty Blade Tribute Band Competition..
Took part with a project band called Rinjani Projek..

Didn't won anything..Was kind of upset though...Not because of winning as a band,that i don't mind..But i was aiming to win the best vocalist...Well,i want to see where all my hardwork have made me who i am today..But Sige-Sige won it...

And come to think of it...Getting all the comment...I'm quite happy with my performance...But yes,i have to admit,the bands that took part are all great bands...And yes,i want to practise more on my vocal..

Not to be the best...But to an inspiration to others...Chey!Haha..

Okay,i'll tell you guys bout what happened today..

Accidentally woke up at 7.30 am...

By 9.30 i was on the way to Aljunied to meet up with Rampage to watch them jam...
Damn they were good...

By 11,i was sitting alone outside the studio,haha,they were late..

By 1.30,they were packing up,Naaz was on her way to Aljunied..
Then Rampage had lunch and i just had a tin of carrot juice to like last me the whole day?Haha

Then at around 2.10,picked Naaz at mrt and headed off to Belzone via Wan Rampage's car...Haha,the guys thought we were a couple...Naaz and me were like....?ok...?Lol

Reached the place at 2.30 like that..

*Kinda lazy to explain wat happened*

So by 8 everything finished...

Followed the guys to eat at Banquet..Thanks guys for the treat....

By 10 i was on my way home...



*inside joke*

Bled For Mankind 7:19 AM | Comment


Thursday, February 26, 2009

Money,i need it...Oh Damn...I'm so short on cash...

Bled For Mankind 7:45 AM | Comment


Monday, February 23, 2009

22nd Feb,Sun,was the most heart-wrenching day of my entire 18+ years of living...

That day was the day that i need to choose either one of the two who i dearly cherish...

But if this is the way my path is written,so be it...Who am i to challenge life...
I reached Club 6 at around 12 plus with Ironchild,Azri and Syarmilla...
Headed up to help Jebat settle the equipments..Jebat being a "Guitar-Only" person doesn't know how to set up the Drum-Kit...So there i was saving the day...But it ended up in a disaster cause everything went totally wrong as the screws were not in-tact,the levers were placed wrongly,thanks to Jebat!

At 1 plus,the show officially start...

Syadza and Aisyah was suppose to come down,but Syadza was out with her Aunt,Aisyah came but sat right at the back...

Nat and Tina came,weee...But Tina wasn't feeling well...And Nat,don't ask,she's being her usual-take-your-head-bang-to-the-music-self...

I was infront making sure the stuff weren't damage or whatsoever,it's also an excuse to be at the frontline of the performing acts!Haha...

So the gig ended at 6.30 i think...By then Aisyah went home leaving behind a letter for me to read...I read it while on the way to P.S...

Heaved a big sigh of despair...Over what had just happened...

This was the decision that i made...

Since i do not have the heart
To see the tears in any of your(Syadza N' Aisyah) eyes
I've decided to sacrifise my own happiness
To not be with any of you

It pains me dearly to have to make this decision
But,with God'swill,you will have a better future without me

Slacked at P.S with Ironchild,Carrie,Fai and Liz...

Su and Zylaa was being a dear by giving that warm-motherly-smile to cheer me up
Bopeng did all his best to talk me out of the problems
Khai and Azri with his stupid/lame jokes to cheer me up
Topo with his everlasting sentimental songs to juice up my feelings
And last of all,to Min...

Min,no matter what,a father nor a mother will never disown their own flesh and blood...No matter how cruel the words are being spat at your face,realise this...
Their blood,runs in yours,and family is all you need...
Don't hate them for their words,but love them for their concern and care

Min tried to condole me all the way,he was having an ever bigger problem,but he troubled himself to help me,that is what i meant by true friendship

Thanks Bro..

And thanks to all of you who have been by my side...

From those names unheard by some of you like Bianca...You're one glam lady that i salute!

Oh and thanks for listening to me Nat!

Bled For Mankind 3:11 AM | Comment


Thursday, February 19, 2009

Had a long walk home just now..
From school all the way home...Haha...
Crazy thing to do...But never felt the pain nor tiredness...Cause i was thinking all the way home on how to get on with this life..

It's something i do when i'm really depress...
Those who are really close to me would know my bad habit...Its' like drugs cause i won't feel any tiredness nor fatigue from walking that long cause my mind is all clogged up by these problems...When i reached home i felt like fainting cause of the heat...Lols much...

It's a good song from Poison called Every Rose Has It's Thorns

And i quote this from the song...

"Although we both lay close together,we feel miles apart inside"
"Though i try not to hurt you,though i tried,but i guess that's why they say every rose has it's thorns"

I try my best not to hurt anyone...But i know,somehow,i'll end up piercing their hearts a little...

I'm going on a job hunt tomorrow with Kid and maybe go jamming with Phenomenon...Maybe i can clear my head a little tomorrow...Night guys

Bled For Mankind 5:51 AM | Comment


Sunday, February 15, 2009

They say,it's better to sacrifise your happiness for others...

I've been sacrifising too much...Too much for my own sake...

Everytime i want to make a decision...I think about what will happen,not with me,but to that other party...Will it affect them harshly?Or will they leave me...

It's all about them,and not about me...
Why?I don't know...

It's just my weakness...

Heck,i can't even turn down my own friend who needs $50 to pay for her daughter's medical bills but i know she won't pay me back...

I can't even ask for my $20 back from a friend who owed me for more then a month...

Or $32 from someone who needed to pay for his HDB rent...

I'm in need of cash myself...But why am i still giving out charity to those who need it more when i'm struggling myself?I don't know...Damn i do not know...

And to Syadza and Aisyah,i need some time to think...
And to tell you the truth,thinking about it just equals suicide...
It's just so darn hard guys...

For now,i just need some serious peace of mind...

Bled For Mankind 6:54 AM | Comment


Monday, February 09, 2009

I'd like to thank Muhaimin for being a real brother in my time of need...

Not saying that my other Bro's and Sis's aren't there,it's just that i didn't tell you of my problem...

And Min,i appreciate everything bro...
But,let's keep it low and not tell R.L about it aite?
You're one of the few Bro's and Sis's that know about my blog,so let them not know bout this,i don't want them to worry...

Just be there for me Bro...And Thanks a lot for everything...
The thought of you wanting to help me is satisfying enough...

And to all my dearest Bro's and Sis's,i'll be fine for now aite?

hmmm....sad to hear bout my bro MR story...read his blog....am thinking wat i can do to help....he's the chief of RL...so..budak2 RL....sikit sebanyak tolong lar....am planning something that would at least ringan kan beban dia...but wat can i do....i cant do it alone...i need at least the whole of RL to help at least...tkkan happy samer2..biler susah kau hidup sendiri....lek eh maan...gua da bbl ngn rosli sroh baca blog kau...i hope i can work with him to come out with something..sabar bro.."

thanks alot min!

Bled For Mankind 6:05 AM | Comment


Sunday, February 08, 2009

Its exactly 5 pm now!

I've not much sleep this past two days...Lol much?

Went jamming at around 1.30...

After that went home and went to Ngaji...
Left Ngaji around 8.30 to meet up with Nisman and Aisyah.
Took a cab and reached like around 20 mins?Cool much...

Chill with Nisman,Aisyah and two of their friends...
Aisyah opened up to me about loads of stuff,pretty amazing though,haha
She's the quiet type when she's around me...
So she told me to help Nisman with his malay and all cause when we play a malay song,he can't get the feel cause he doesn't understand what he's playing for...
Then talked bout the stars and all...
We were sitting at a open space opposite of Homeclub

At around 9 or 10 plus we headed off to ECP to meet up with Ironchild
Upon reaching,Jai told us to chill at Coffeebean and he bought pure Vanilla With Caramel Frappe and it was damn power!Haha

Me and Nisman were like siblings cause we knew what we wanted to do with that drink!Hahaha!

Then after that headed to the pit,it was Jai's birthday...
Then Jai's dad bbq-ed something for us to eat...
Looked at my hp and nobody called nor sms...Okay,first time Aisyah didn't contact me?Haha...

So we just chill and all...Aisyah told us about her past and it was scary man...Haha...Then Nisman and me did some stupid stuff!Again!Haha...

We were like saying the same words together out of nothing!Haha...Great Minds Think Alike!

Then we were drunk....
Drunk by eating hot marshmallows with nutella!
Nisman still could go on but i was bloated like hell...Haha

Morning came and i only had 30 mins of sleep?Woke myself up by splashing in the open sea!Haha..At 7 am?!

Then played some soccer or should i say monkey!Haha...
Jai,Min,Faie,Nisman and me were having like a hell of a time...

Then Kid woke up and we all splash in the sea again..But Nisman headed home..Aww,poor guy...Haha..Nisman and Aisyah headed off and i was already feeling the boredness...Haha...

So played Water Captain Ball and Min was heavy like ****!But i withstand his weight!Haha...And Faie was always concern about his Dick!Hahaha!And yes,his Dick was jolting out of his wet boxers and Jai's girl was trying to avoid looking at it but couldn't and ended up laughing cause he was trying so hard to cover it...!Haha

Then bath and Jai and Faie were being gay by shampooing each other and slowing downwards...really,their hands were in each other's pants but Faie couldn't stand it and ran away!Haha...The rest of us laugh like hell..

Headed back to pit and i head home with Kid in his dad's van..I was already gone by then!Haha...

Reached home,called Aisyah for awhile and slept till 4.30!Haha...
Now i'm still sleepy!

Bled For Mankind 12:59 AM | Comment


Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Ok so here i am in SAR updating my blog?Haha...oK!
Kak Pah here beside me being KEPO!!!!Dave just went off doing his ITE stuff...Haha....
And here Kak Pah says sedih sey!Hahaha...Gi mam la...hahaha...
kk...i'm kinda bored...n to min n syarm...i love u guys!yg lain tu nanti aku blang ye..tk semestinyer aku tak letak name korang aku tak syg korang!hahaha

Maan Rosewood

Bled For Mankind 5:33 PM | Comment


Monday, February 02, 2009


All i can say is,my mood just suddenly dropped...Sigh...
I got to know from someone that my mum might lose her custody over me and my little brother...It's because of her friend who went missing and didn't pay up for her bike installments.

My mum was her friend's gurantor and her friend went missing after a few months...Now as a gurantor,she needs to pay the bike company 10k...
If not,they'll pull her van,bike away,and even us...

I don't know why,but all i got to know is that if it happens,she can lose her custody over us...And i don't want that to happen...

It's not that i don't love my dad...But he's not the fatherly sort...All he care is work,money and woman...Seriously...
I thought of not taking the $250 each month my dad give me,maybe just about $100 and the rest give to my mum...
Last week,the fridge was almost bare...

$1.8k a month is her salary...Where can i find money to pay for that 10k

I'm not even 19 yet,and to reach a legal age is 21,by then and only then i can take the right to be the guardian for my little brother even if my mother loses her custody over us...

Mum is also suffering in silence...
Yes i know she has an illness,it's just that i don't want my little brother to know...
If he got to know,he would be sad 24/7...

A few years back,mum suffered from a major panic attack,and my little brother was already crying even though the panic attack wasn't fatal,so i guess you guys would know his character abit.

Being the eldest in the family suck at times...
You need to juggle your responsibility not only towards your life and school,but your family too...Especially in a broken up family...
If my mum really loses her custody over us,i think i need to quit school and start working to pay off her debts...Oh God...Please don't leave me in my time of need...

And to whoever it may concern...
I don't hate you,nor i want to stray away from you...
But i've found someone new,and i guess you should too...
It's been too hurtful waiting for you...
The sleepless nights...
And endless tears wept...

But i can still be there for you...
As a close friend...
Cause if you really know me...
I'm as loyal as can be...
You will find someone better than me one day...
One day...Remember,your name is still in my prayers...

And to that someone new...
I know you've been reading my blog from your workplace...
Stop that smiling,yea i know you're smiling...
Please don't judge me that quick...
And have some faith in me...

If you understand me and my work...
You know that i have loads of friends...
And i need to socialise a lot...
I've seen you sitting at the other end while here i am headbanging and talking...
And yes,i've listed you 3 names of the girls that i'm really close too...
(And one of the name is yours too)

I admit i can't make the whole world happy...
But i can achieve it by taking small steps...
And to my past...
It doesn't mean that our story didn't have a happy ending meant it wasn't happy at all...
Even with the tears and heartache...
It was a joyous and lovely path to walk by...
And lessons i've learnt to keep my head up...

To those whom i love and care much for...Yes those people who influence my life and whom i've influence too...I don't want any monetary aid,all i want is understanding and support...

For those close to my family and whom my mum is close with,just give us all the strength we need to overcome this problem...

Bled For Mankind 1:45 AM | Comment





Azalea Rosewood


Irizah Azalea

Nick:Maan Rosewood
Vocalist & Ex-Guitar Player
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