Monday, March 31, 2008
A new chapter in life...
I've long for one...
But in the end...
I've lost for one...
Kau adalah permata hatiku
Menerangi warna kehidupanku
Memberiku kasih dan sayang
Agar abadi selamanya
Hidup bersamamu terukir nikmat
Sewaktu disaat kita berdua
Akan ku berikan secebis rantai
Yang bakal engkau memakainya
Lagu dari Selsius,berjudul Emaliza...
Sebenarnya,aku telah jatuh cinta dengan seorang gadis...
Tetapi alangkahnya,cinta kita tidak akan terjadi...
Bukan kerana masalah atau apa jua...
Tetapi insan yang lain mengejarnya...
Seperti semua cerita didalam hidupku,aku yang menderita...
Tetapi tidak mengapalah,asalkan dia berbahagia...
Aku tidak mahu menyebut namanya...
Hanya Tuhan sahaja yang tahu...
"Setiap insan didunia akan diberi teman hidup"-Ustaz Abdul Malik
Aku hanya berharap,masa itu akan tiba siang...
Kerana keseseorangan tidak lagi ku tahan...
Siapakah akan menjelma...
Membuai hatiku yang sudah lama kesepian...
Sun,6th April,2nd round of audition,hope i'll get it through...
Bled For Mankind 9:55 PM
I'm at a point where my life seem to twirl around.
You know the feeling where you think you're alone but you're not...Sigh...
I've loads of friends,but i've many great friends.
But still,i lacked of that special someone in my life.
When Lemon asked me whether i still liked Zyzii or not,it kind of
got my emotions triggered.It's not because i'm not with Zyzii or anything,even though it was an old story,i'm just alone,you know?
And I Will Forever...
As Long As It Drives Bad Memories Away...
And Still I Carry On...
And I Will Forever...
When I See You Smile,I Doubt To Believe Again...
A song from Edguy tittled Forever...It's a nice song...
I just can't bear the weight that i'm alone...It's so dark...
I'm not desperate,i'm just so lonely...
I know i have a lot of people to count on,but i just want that special someone to count on too...Why can't i just find someone in life,and live on happily...
I want someone to hold on too...
To shed my tears with...
To joy my happiness with...
To embrace my life with...
And utmost,to love with...
Are you coming home...
I want you to think of me...
When you're away...
Another song from Bad Obsession(Local Band) with a song tittle Yesterday's Eyes...
I don't know what to do now with my life...
I just want that someone,just that someone...
Bled For Mankind 6:49 AM
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Teman menjadi Cinta
Cinta menjadi Rindu
Rindu menjadi Sayang
Apabila sayang itu hilang...
Rindu kehilangan arah...
Dengan itu,tidaklah ia terjumpa dengan Cinta...
Namun musnah semua hingga menjadi Teman...
Apabila Cinta tiada makna
Cinta hanya disinggah
Teman selalu mahu berada
Tidak dikelilingi Rindu
Jikalau berTeman dengannya...
Ia membawa ke arah Cinta...
Cinta mula meRindu kerana kian lama tidak berjumpa...
Barulah Sayang menjelma...
Apabila Cinta bermakna
Rindu dirasa apabila
Sayang pun terasa
Tiada erti Sayang tanpa Rindu
Tiada makna Rindu tanpa Cinta
Tiada perbezaan Cinta tanpa Teman
Its 1.32 am and i'm bored...
Bled For Mankind 10:34 AM
Today went jamming.
Beat Merchants had a gig,seriously,why would someone organise a gig there?Haha.
Wan Bogeh,Aisyah n' Mon followed.When Mon entered the studio,i didn't really recognise her,haha.
Jammed for 2 hours.Kemerdekaan is coming out great.
Today,i kind of lost my voice a little as i didn't take care of it.Haha.
Then after jammed lepaks for awhile.Mon needed to go home so we moved on.Haha,nanti Mon kene marah lagi ngn parents dier...
So now here,haha..nothing much to update..bye!
Bled For Mankind 7:06 AM
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Yesterday came down to Simei to watch Ignified Sins and Phenomenon jam.
Was actually lazy so i told Raj N' Mon i won't be coming.
Both of them keep pestering me to come.
So in the end,i came,without them knowing cause i want to surprise them.
It's really fun being with them.
After jam,we sat at a nearby playground.
Kasman,Elly and Dzul(I think) went to do some dirty jobs.
The rest of us was actually scared cause if they got into trouble,so will we!Haha.
So we changed and sat under a blog.While talking,
we saw 2 police cars rolling in.Not wanting any probs,we went to sit beside the MRT station.Imran bought me Curry Puff!Haha,thanks bro,Wan the Punk bought the rest Coke,and i bought myself a nice Caramel Coffee from Starbucks!Yum!
Ignified Sins we talking about their songlist for and upcoming gig.
Mon was doing her homework with An,i was alone at that time.So i talked with Mon.Wan the Punk was having the time of his life with newly found friends!Haha.
Then Kai msg saying he'd reach the Studio,so i wanted to move,Mon asked me to follow her buy Choc Drink?So i followed.Here comes the bitter part.
Siraj shouted,"Ko nk gi ane?!"
Rosewood,"Ikot mon bli air"
Siraj,"Kimak tu pn nk membontot ke?!"
Rosewood shouted back,"Dier mintak teman kan!!"
Was damn pissed off.I thought i wanted to just dismiss the whole event.But when i came back to sit down,i just couldn' t take the effort to forget it.
Was so pissed that i didn't even talked to the guys and just kept looking elsewhere.
Part when Imran say,"Maan marah ke?"
I just walked off.
Siraj came shouting for me.I just don't want to turn back.
But i'm not that kind of person.
So i just turned back and just replied.
I don't want to talk about it so i just say "Drop It"
So we(Me,Wan,Siraj,Mon) made a move.I just don't want to talk about what happen back there.Siraj was trying to talk to me but i just say
"Drop it,Forget it"
The silence was uneasy.So i talked to Wan till i ran out of ideas on what is there to be shared about.
Siraj went home so it's left with Me,Wan and Mon.
Watch Phenomenon jammed,then Mon was begging me to send her through the gate as she was scared,so I just walked first with Wan.
Phenomenon is a funny band.They seem to love the word 'Maan' and 'Rosewood'.Haha.
Mon took a cab,so i took the train with Kai n' Wan.
All the way home,was just blank.Kai was talking to God knows who.Wan alighted at Paya Lebar.
I was just blank.
I saw a lot of couples that night.
Was heaving a heavy sight.
I just couldn't take my mind off.
I was so sad,so down thinking about it.
Just kept thinking,am i a hopeless person?Or am i just hopelessly dumb?I don't know.Imran says that one day i'll get someone cause of my voice?I don't think so.
Even Arep asked me,"Didn't any girls wanted to know you?"
I don't think so.It seems far-fetched.
Reached home,ate Spaghetti and bread.Was lazy to pray but i kept telling msyelf what IF i die tomorrow.So just prayed.Then wanted to go Online.But net was down.Sms-ed Mon till 2 am cause was still feeling down by Siraj ways.And was talking to Mon bout my love life.Argh,just bullshit as i see it.
I told Mon,"Haha...aku regard korang mcm adek aku sia...jgn sampai aku tk pandang tros tau".Meaning,i've been with them for all this while,just because of one mistake,i'll just leave like that.
Mon replied,"apa salah aku sey"
I knew i was wrong in saying tat,but,nvm....
"Let Me Be Single,As Long As I Can Fucking Rock The World!"
Bled For Mankind 11:08 PM
Monday, March 17, 2008
Aku melihat bintang dilangit
Aku terkenang masa yang pahit
Hanya kerana masa yang tidak mencukupi
Membuat hidupku resah yang mendalami
Been helping out Siraj n' Atika(Lemon) with their relationships.
Seriously,those who've know me like Syahrul whom i've known since pri 1,or Elfyana who was my very first love?Haha,i've never really done a thing so much for some people.Seriously...
Like when Raj n' Mon had to meet up with Fiq and all,i made a decision to come all the way down to Tampines with a cab.Even though i was running short of money,i didn't mind it.Cause there was something in Raj N' Mon that made me want to help them.
Lovers...I was once like them...Really loving...But i've wasted my love so much,till it's gone...
Had a chalet recently.While i was praying,Kai overheard my band saying they want to find someone for me,i'm damn touched...
But getting back to reality,who really wants me aeh?Haha
Mon was sweet enough to help me go through with it.Dilah too.
A lot of people dislike the way Dilah treated me.As in,i waited for her to love me for 5-6 months,but in the end,we just became friends.
Some of my friends hate that,but i can't say anything,you can't force love.
I just got to know one of my bestfriend just got engaged without me knowing.It was so hurtful.Knowing that somebody you call a bestfriend,isn't really one.Haiz...
Been playing a song from Sentuhan Kidal,just a minor part of it,cause it's so soft and tender...Just what i need right now...
For Siraj and Mon,don't worry aite!The worst is has not come yet.
Just be loving,be truthful.Thats all.
For my Brudders(Mercenarian),there's no need to find a someone,i don't think it'll ever work ok?Thanks for the thought though.
Bled For Mankind 1:11 AM
Friday, March 14, 2008
Saat kita berpisah
Kau pegang erat tanganku
Sepertinya tak merelekan kepergianku
Perpisahan kita disaksikan bulan
Dibawa cahaya yang menyedihkan
Menerimah hakikat dan dugaan
Sampaikan timbulnya perpisahan
Bukan aku tidak cinta padamu
Bukan aku tidak percaya dengamu
Tetapi hati tidak lagi menunggu
Cinta bukan hanya dimata
Cinta hadir di dalam jiwa
Kau buta melihatnya
Akhirnya semua tegendala
Beribu kali kata sayang
Berjuta kali bermuka muram
Berkata cinta entah kemana
Hanya memberi kasih yang duka
Aku berikan kata yang benar
Kau hanya mengatakan salah
Apakah lagi hendak ku edar
Sehinggakan airmata tertumpah
Ini untuk Atika!hahaha
yang bwh ni tuk Siraj
Kau mengenangkan masa silam
Membawa kebahgian dalam percintaan
Bukan untuk kita
Tetapi untuk dirimu
Susah hendakku kata putus
Kerana dihati masa ada cinta
Janganlah cinta kita pupus
Kerana masalah yang lama
Aku merayu kepadamu
Janganlah kau pergi dariku
Hatiku masih mencintaimu
Berilah harapan kepadaku
Walaupun susah hendak ku percaya
Namun hatiku masih cinta juga
Suka duka akan kita tempuhi bersama
Hanya untuk cinta kita
Bled For Mankind 5:04 AM