Today,i've decided to move on... Not to forget her but to just move on with my life... I was awoke at 4 am yesterday...And it wasn't a normal thing...Something told me to wake up...No it's not that i'm disturb by something... But i think He was telling me to Solat Tahajjud...Which i didn't,cause i don't really know the procedure that well...
Solat Tahajjud is a prayer where you ask for something, or you want to know something... In the last sujud,you ask God what you want,if you prayer is heard,He will grant it...
I decided to move on because if i continue to put myself in this state,i'd never move on... But rest assured,i'll always pray for her... This is not something i just say,but i'll do...
She has heart problems,that never stopped me from being close to her that time...I prayed for her when she was admitted to the hospital... I prayed for her when she was having a hard time breathing... All i can still is pray for her happiness and well-being...
I've made up my mind that i'm still not ready to be in a relationship...Because it takes real understanding and patience... She thought me that...But i was too blind to see...
There's still many test to go in this world,i must be prepared to face it...
I sat on the Sajadah after praying Maghrib... I sat there praying in tears... Asking God to forgive me for my past sins,my past bad deeds to this world... So i can have a better life ahead of me...
I also prayed for her...I asked God questions,which i know he would answer it one day...I took out my Al-Quran,and read Surah Waqi'ah... I was in tears reading the first few lines,cause the pain is still unbearable...But i kept reading...Then i found myself in a calm state...
It's true what my Ustaz said,reading the Quran will ease your mind...
I still respect and remembered Achmad... He was the only true friend who guided me into this wonderful world... He told me to pray,he told me that God gave us challenges so we'd be strong...
Maybe God sent him to me...I was touched by his deeds... I'm apologies to all the people around me who i've put sin onto...I'm sorry...
This would be hard on my band one day...Cause i may go to PERGAS to continue my study and become an Ustaz...But the responsibility is high... I do not know whether i can carry it... But that will be someday...I promised myself...
Till here i wrote...
Bled For Mankind 7:55 PM
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Semoga cabaran didunia ini sesuatu ujian dari yang Esa, Semoga hikmah disebaliknya sangatlah manis...
Hidupku bagaikan laut yang berombat ganas Tiada pulau yang bolehku menyelamatkan diri Hidupku yang penuh cabaran Menitiskan airmataku pada tanah ini Semoga ujian yang diberikan Memberi hikmah yang sungguh di idamkan
My life has gone really bad... I've made Dilah mad by doing what normal guys do... Sweet talk,bull-shits,craps,empty words...
But i did a few things right... I stay up with her that night so I could cheer her up,and i did... I talked her through things... I showed her what true life means... I only want to make her happy... That's my real reason for her... After what Sastra did to her,i couldn't bear the sight of having her shed a tear...
I don't blame her for hating me...Like i say to Ely,"Biarkan Rose yang menderita,asalkah Dilah itu bahagia" Ely scolded me for that,but it's alright...
Now all i must do is pray for her safety... Hope she eats well... Hope she sleeps well... Hope she won't get another heartache... If Azri's the guy,Alhamdulillah,i praise to God for giving her a good guy...
As for myself... I'm still a normal human being... Not free from sins,not free from test of God...
For my beloved Rockers N' Metalheads,don't misjudge me and Dilah, we were just close friends,not more then that okay...?
Repent is now my goal,but the time is still a question... If i were to die tomorrow,i want to know i lived well in this world... Serving Islam,and being a loyal Servant to the one and only Allah S.W.T... Insyaallah...
Bawah ini adalah video berjudul I'tiraf daripada Haddad Alwi
Ilaahi 'abdukal 'aashi ataaka muqirron biddzunuubi waqod da'aaka fa in taghfir fa anta lidzaaka ahlun wa in tadrud faman narjuu siwaaka
Bled For Mankind 6:24 AM
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Monday, October 22, 2007
While I was listening to my music,it suddenly occured to me that O Lvl's has started...Haha...
I've been in Alamak.com this few days.My real intention,was to find a bassist. But then,things took a toll. I met different people!
From Gays to Bisexual,To Sexs Seeker to Gentlemen. Hmm..Interesting.. That aside...
3 weeks of O Lvl's. After O Lvl's,people are expected to be free or be working,for myself,i'll be busy sitting at home cracking my head over lyrics and music.
Why?Easy...
Band Session on 10th Nov,would be jamming around evening on that day. The following day would be a jam rehearsal,which is on 11th Nov,a Sunday.
Looks' like i'm preparing for a show?Partially yes,and no...Hehe... On 17th Nov,Mercenarian would be having our very first EP Sneak Preview. We would be playing all our Iron Maiden,Dio,Rusty Blade songs and releasing our 2 new originals called Soldier and Peluru Terakhir for our upcoming EP Album tittled,"Battle Front,Medan Peperangan".
It also occured to me that we might be having a gig in Nov and Dec. FWB invited us to play alongside with them in Nov.
In Dec,i'd be organising a event maybe at Riverside,Esplanade. Just got back their reply and they referred me to the correct people.Cool.
Mercenarian would also be releasing our Single which includes Munirah(Vocal) and Zepa Meiji(Guitarist) of Titanium,Reza(Vocalist) and Zacky(Guitarist) and Nam(Vocalist), in a joint compilation song tittled,"Ikrar Negara" which is composed by me.
And that means more rehearsals and recording. The good news,just got off with Brader Bo,DJ for RIA 89 FM,Vicious Volume,that he would consider playing the song over the radio.How cool?Haha...
A lot of people are asking about Dila and me.Well,we're still close friends,into a relationship yet?I don't think so,why?Cause she's still suffering from her past relationship,and as a man of dignity(chey),i respect her bounderies.
Those who are wondering what i'll be wearing for Graduation Nite,it's simple.
Top . . . . Bottom
80's Shades Black PVC Jacket Tribal Shirt Belt Buckle(Maybe) Studded Belt Leather Jeans Black Socks Smart Boot
Nice?Just like Rob Halford of Judas Priest What can I say?I'm a Rocker/Metallian
Now my Raya... First day,went out in Yellow Baju Raya!I Picked!Nice! In that day alone,i recieved $180,nice? 2nd day,wore Smart Long Sleeve,Leather Pants and Sneakers. After 2 days of Raya,i received $250,much nicer.
That's just one side of the family,those who know,good,those who don't,keep up with me.
My vomiting problem?Seem to be getting better,seek help,and got it.Now i'm healthy!Nice?Hehe.
Ok,that's all for now,see ya.
Maan Rosewood
Bled For Mankind 7:36 AM
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Sunday, October 07, 2007
Hail!haha...
now its 11:o8 pm...haha..jz came back from outing with sweety..heee...nola...not yet my sweety...
was suppose to be 4 guys n 4 gals..but ended..3 gals,2 guys,sweet eh?haha..
waited for Dila,Syidah n' Ann at payar lebar..with Reza tat time...they late..wat the heck..haha...then go walk2 at bazaar..so bored..so 6.30..tell them lets go city hall eat?haha..they say ok..so we go ah..then dila n syidah wanted to go back geylang...so before they go,i promised dila i'd buy her a band shirt..so singgahlah peninsular..hehe...her eyes became big sey when she got it..hehe..so sweet..then Ann n' Reza pilih2 baju first..i sent syidah and dila to mrt..otw..sempatlah kiter rapat2 siket...hehez..
really in love with her ah..hehez....then we go lepakz at singapore river..took sum pix..wana see?haha
ann brutal eh?hehe
Bled For Mankind 8:07 AM
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Azalea Rosewood
Irizah Azalea
Nick:Maan Rosewood
D.O.B:26-09-90
Vocalist & Ex-Guitar Player
Member Of Mercenarian,Ironchild,Rock Avenue
Founder and Chief Of Rockers League
Affiliates of Blackbird
My Societies
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